Tuesday, December 18, 2007

"Arabi's army was about seventy thousand in all, And, virtually speaking, it wasn't very small."

I have just discovered the man famous for being the worst poet ever, William McGonagall.

From "The Late Sir John Ogilvy":

ALAS! Sir John Ogilvy is dead,
aged seventy-seven,
But I hope his soul is now in heaven;
He was a public benefactor in many ways,
Especially in erecting an asylum for imbecile children to spend their days.

How about this one, from "A Tribute to Dr. Murison":

He told me at once what was ailing me;
He said I had been writing too much poetry,
And from writing poetry I would have to refrain,
Because I was suffering from inflammation of the brain.

Reminds me of a Monty Python sketch...

9 comments:

Laura Kling said...

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, how did you find out about him? Dominick told me about him. Once we had a kind of bad poets contest, where he read something about the Tay Bridge, and I read some poems from Linda Ellis, like "My Own Letter to the Terrorists" and "Letter to Cancer."

I am so excited about this.

Ana said...

He's in this book I have called Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader.
The Tay Bridge Poem is pretty bad, but not as bad as some others.
It's amazing that he jumps around between so many rhyming devices, even within a stanza!
It's really hard to read out loud.
And...there's a website devoted purely to him, with all his amazing poems!

Laura Kling said...

The wikipedia article really made my day: "William Topaz McGonagall (1825 – 29 September 1902) was a Scottish weaver, actor, and poet. He is comically renowned as one of the worst poets in the English language."

Anonymous said...

Okay, clearly I have to schedule a reading of this guy's poetry for one of our Friday assemblies.
Thanks, Ana.
I'm so excited-- my friend from school got her TASPlication and is applying!

Maya the Aggie said...

That's awesome, Emily! I'm sure your classmates will love my dear friend William McGonagall, as I did. It's horrible to laugh at a poem that isn't supposed to be funny. Read the "Tay Bridge Disaster".
I don't think anyone at my school scored high enough on the PSAT to get a brochure, which is sad because I wanted to see our beautiful faces in print!

Ana said...

Oh, oh! And Emily?
Will you do a dramatic reading like the one Eric Idle performs in "The Poet McTeagle" at your assembly?
Because it would be the most amazing thing in the world.

Anonymous said...

Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely yes.

Anonymous said...

The art of haiku:

"I like bees, they're so
Yellow and black, and yellow
And black and yellow"

-courtesy of http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A577118

Funny guy, that McGonagall!

Dominick Lawton said...

It makes me so happy that other people know about him. He's utterly incredible. And "The Tay Bridge Disaster" really is the apex of all things McGonagall ("It should have been supported with buttresses/As many sensible men do confesses/For the stronger we our houses do build/The less chance we have of being killed", or something along those lines.)