It was a dark and stormy night...

and then Laura Kling came to Chicago and made the sun come out! (This was strangely accurate) [I observed the same, too, myself! Almost uncanny...]

So today was the U Chicago spring festival, the one with lots of free popcorn and cotton candy and giant hamster balls (People tried to run into each other in them. It was sort of ridiculous.) and a mechanical bull and Broken Social Scene and LOTS of hipsters. 

So many hipsters.

Maybe too many hipsters. [This and the previous statements are not even invalid. Also hipster-crowding-into-a-vent-in-the-library was a Scav Hunt item!]

(Actually, there were less hipsters than usual for UChi, which was still more than usual for Yale. The hipster stomping ground in front of Cobb was quite forlorn. But of course Laura didn't know that until we told her.)

Definitely too many pairs of salmon-colored pants. (And by 'too many' Laura actually means two. Which, admittedly, is two too many.) 

Definitely not enough TASPers. Since we miss you. (This,too, is accurate.) [Mm-hmm! Emphatically. We send you transcendental hugs.]

Anyway, we met one of Mac's friends. We're pretty sure he's a serial killer. He was hanging out in the library during the festival, when he should've been running through the inflatable obstacle course (or riding the plastic bull). 

Mac says he's not a real friend of his. That he's unsavory. (Mac knows. He's tasted him.)

So then we went to Chinatown and bought a couple of wooden swords (and had an epic sword fight.) [with a weird straw Asian-looking hat] Then we were obvious tourists. (Arguably, we were obvious tourists from the moment we bought the swords. Or, we were awesome. Probably not.) [But probably so.]

Apparently one time, for the university's scavenger hunt, some kids built a working nuclear reactor (in a 2005 TASPer's room.) [Only a trivial distance away as we speak right now!]

They didn't win.

[Humbert Humbert was married to some gal for some 50 days, says Mac.]

You have to guess who's who. Hint: One of the UChicago TASPers is really, really lazy. Hint: It's clearly not Kim or Rachel. Hint: It's clearly also not Laura. Clearly.