I've been in ballet since I was five. I used to pretend (at around age 8) that I was an amazing dancer, but as a grew older, I had to come to terms with reality.
And today, I realized that story ballets (like "The Wizard of Oz") help ballet teachers deal with dancers like me. The character roles hide the bad dancers in comic costumes, and those who can actually dance are given solos like "Emerald" and "Glinda the Good Witch" (which I don't believe she is, because she sends Dorothy all through Oz just to tell her that the whole journey could have ended at the beginning and we've just wasted three hours with a pointless story).
But, who wants to walk around in a constricting tutu when you can walk around in a bad ass Cowardly Lion suit? I'm telling you, this thing is AMAZING! The crotch is down to my knees, and I've got the most uncomfortable mane, which covers half my face. If it was a cold winter night, I'd be the last to freeze in all the layers this suit has. Its even got a tail that I can hold on to when the Wicked Witch creeps up on me in the forest. I've got the most amazing lines in the whole show, I get to pass out, I get to dance with a cape like a bullfighter... (You get the idea that it's amazing?)
So,
"What puts the 'hot' in hot-n-tot, what puts the 'ape' in apricot, what have they got that I ain't got?"
Well, I'll tell you. They've got tickets to my show on May 9-11.
Order now and you'll get a free ticket along with a suite and gourmet food at the Miller-ter Kuile Hotel and Resort! The first 31 callers get a farm tour free of charge. Offer ends soon, and supplies are limited, so hurry in for yours today!
Some restrictions apply. Visit Ana for details. Must be a qualified TASPer to enter. Offer ends 05/11/08.
It's been a weird day, I'm sorry.
Love you all!
Ana
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7 comments:
"intellectual property rights" is not.
I quit ballet after we did "Annie," I think. I was three.
So I'd be the tree to your Cowardly Lion.
Wait, tree?
We have trees, they get to slap Dorothy right before she discovers the Tin Man.
Oh, they move? I was thinking the stereotypical "That kid's such a bad dancer that we'll have her just stand in the background as scenery. Trees don't move. Who could mess that up? Not even the clumsiest kid in the world" situation. I'm imagining that that's where I'd fit in, when it comes to ballet hierarchies.
I think you'd do fine as any of the characters! Alyssa is the Wicked Witch. She's really good at it because she has the longest fingers in the world and she's an amazing actress.
And I'm ALMOST as low as you in ballet hierarchies. I was cast as a harlequin for the "Nutcracker" last year. But you know what? It was probably the best dance I've ever been in. So much fun!
And all these other girls were saying that they'd quit ballet if they were ever put into such a ridiculous dance. If they only knew...
If there's a Lion Who Falls Down A Lot, I could be that. My acting isn't too good either; I could be the Indifferent and Slightly Stilted Lion.
Or maybe just an audience member. I think I can clap.
You could be an audience member...
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